Over the last few weeks, I've been using a prayer guide written for married couples that gives sample prayers for specific areas in your spouse's life (work, friendships, faith, etc). Overall, I've really enjoyed it, although last night I came across a prayer that raised a lot of questions about how my husband and I should make decisions -- specifically, on money.
Last night's prayer was "your husband's finances", and included prayer that he'll grow in generosity, in his trust in the Lord's provision, and in responsibility in stewarding his money. I took a quick peak at the "praying for your wife" section to see if there was a corresponding prayer for wives and her finances. To my disappointment, there wasn't.
Yes, historically men have been the primary (or sole) earners in a family, but does that give them all the responsibility and decision making power over the family resources? Right now, Jayson and I both work and we make decisions together about our money, but what would happen if one day I chose to stop working? Would that mean I would (or should) no longer have any say about how we steward our finances?
Maybe some couples agree that one of them will make all the financial decisions. Perhaps others will even make the case that the husband should make all the financial decisions. I don't necessarily agree, and I also don't think that the author of this prayer guide is trying to say that wives are exempt from growing more generous, trusting, and financially responsible. Even so, lack of a "prayer for your wife's finances" is one more subtle message adding to my growing confusion as I begin this lifelong journey of answering the questions - What does it mean to be a Jesus-loving wife in the 21st century? How should my husband and I handle __________?
To my married friends: What issues have raised these questions for you? How has your faith shaped the way you answer them (or perhaps, raised more questions?)
